Creating a Family Values Blueprint

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, creating a strong foundation for your family is crucial. A Family Values Blueprint can be the compass guiding your decisions and actions, helping you build a cohesive and fulfilling family life and assessing whether your goals, tasks and actions are supporting the things that matter most to you. In this guide, we'll walk you through the steps to create your own Family Values Blueprint, ensuring it reflects the unique essence of your family.

Set aside a half hour (or more if you’ve got it), grab your partner, and let’s go!

Determine your starting point

The first decision is whether to start from scratch or use existing resources. Starting from a blank page allows for a fresh perspective and genuine exploration. This might be the direction for you if you have an idea of your values or have some words in mind already. On the other hand, using a premade list of values or resources can serve as a ready-to-use foundation. We’re big fans of the New Happy’s value wheel, which includes a full color printout for free.

Whether you create your list from scratch or work from a preset list of possible values, it’s incredibly helpful if both you and your spouse/partner need start from the same place.

Reflect individually

Family life is shared activity, and so is mapping your family’s values. But first, each of you will create your own list of values independently. This encourages personal reflection and ensures that both perspectives are considered. You’ll want to come up with about 5 or 6 top values that are meaningful to you on their own and as a collection. Write these down, and include any notes, examples or reasoning as to why you selected this value.

Some prompts to aid in this exploration:

• What short-term and long-term goals do we have as a family? How do these goals reflect our shared values?

• What activities do we enjoy doing together as a family? How do these activities align with our values?

• What family traditions do we hold dear? How do these traditions reflect our shared values?

• What are some positive and memorable experiences we've had as a family? What values were present during these moments?

• What values guide our expectations for each family member? How do we ensure that every family member feels included and respected?

• How do we support each other during challenging times? How do we celebrate each other's successes?

• How does our cultural background influence our family values?

• How do we contribute to our community or society as a family?

• What are our family's financial priorities and values?

Share, discuss & refine

Sit down and share your lists openly, noting both similarities and differences. Avoid trying to convince or sell your partner on your values; instead, focus on sharing your perspective and the reasons behind each value. Understanding each other's reasoning is crucial for effective communication.

Discuss the observed similarities and differences. If there are values in opposition, explore how they might complement each other rather than clash. For instance, stability and creativity can coexist to foster a balanced family environment.

As you discuss, you’ll come to a consensus on certain values. Create a new list for these, being mindful to decide on a final list that both you and your partner feel genuinely good about, not just okay. This ensures that the values chosen resonate with both of you, fostering a sense of unity and commitment.

For each value, discuss and add a practical example of how it might manifest in your current season of life. Whether it's spending quality time together, supporting individual interests, or cultivating shared hobbies, these examples bring your values to life — and action.

Assess & align with your goals

Use your new Family Values Blueprint to assess how you're currently spending time and energy. If you have a task app, shared calendar or to-do list or other tools to track your families activities and priorities, this is a great time to incorporate them in this process. (This kind of operating system is exactly what Bosa supports you with, in one single shared smart tool!)

How well do your current activities align with these values? Are they evenly distributed or are there areas that need more time and energy than others at this moment? How is the labor to support these activities distributed? Is one person bearing too much of the mental load? What values are not being acted on in your current goals and tasks? Remember, not all actions need to be shared across the whole family to map to your values — especially the ones for your personal growth and fulfillment.

Identify the areas where you are in alignment with your values and areas that might need adjustments. Write them down as well as any actions you can take to rebalance them. Then create a few new family goals or tasks that align with your values. Collaborate on making them happen, and consider using tools like Bosa to streamline the process. These goals will serve as milestones for putting your values into practice and reinforcing your family's unique identity.

Creating a Family Values Blueprint is an ongoing process that requires communication, understanding, and commitment. By following these steps, you can build a solid foundation for your family that reflects your shared values and promotes a harmonious and fulfilling life together. It may seem like this can wait until “things calm down”, but our experience is that taking the time to think about what values truly matter to you can help you make the time for the things that matter most even and especially when things get hectic.